Im assuming that some places have policies about this sort of thing but have no idea about the policies at this store. I was the only female that worked there, and getting hit on generally happened in two categories. That is classic. Flirt more. And above all, don't pressure her. If you buy e.g. Trust me on this, its not good.. Hey, this looks like "try this" solution, could you add why using this technic is good and will work? Her ex used her for her body they broke up 9mos ago. And a lot of the general public gets that mixed up with actual proper social interactions, where both parties can leave the conversation any time they want. If "no" seems like it would damage, hurt or invalidate you, get to healthcare and work that out. How To Restart Mission Rdr2? (Still gay, now not so closeted :D) So while I was able to stumble out a decline that didnt out me and sounded fairly legitimate, the truth was Id been rather blindsided, and I spent the rest of the day scared that one of my coworkers would have overheard and I was going to get grilled about why I didnt agree to the date later on. Use a bell on the door to let you know when new customers have arrived, so that you can be sure to greet them promptly. Holy cats, it was painful to watch him. By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. It puts me in an awkward position, and moreover, I dont want to feel sexualized at work. Like youre causing major pain to someone by giving them your #. Even if you think this guy might really like you, youre going to have to take it slow. There's no freedom of motion for her. The cashier will also talk to you. While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. I dont know if I get hit on very often, Probably not since most of the male customers are either 5 years younger then me or at least 15 years older then me. Yeah, I used to teach adults and I was asked out BY A STUDENT. . Having worked retail as a female, being asked out is one of the most annoying things that can happen to a person, it can go as far as making her feel unsafe. I worked at a coffee shop for a few years so awkward when people would hit on me. Can anyone help me? Eurgh. With this knowledge in mind, she's common-senseley (making up words!) How To Score A Volley In Fifa 22? Not eHarmony, they discriminate against gays and lesbians. It can end well! Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. How To Get Resin Conan Exiles? I worked in a large grocery store chain that prides itself on premier customer service. That's what "creepy" means. i like it when people ask my name. I would strongly advise you do neither of these things. Oh wait, I did actually end up in a four year relationship that had been a customer and he ended up being a creep with major control issues, but that could have happened no matter where we had met. Instead, in these situations, I've found something that works much better for both of you. At least if I was cleaning up aisles or stocking shelves, I could pretend to escape into the backroom. This is different, though, from approaching the object of affection. For me, this was the least offensive way someone ever 'shopped' for me, because due to professionalism I could just ignore it. Whoa, is Missed Connections still a thing? We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. She has an easy escape: "Back to work, bye". 15 years ago when I worked in retail customers asked me out all the time. Unfortunately theres always the potential that someone could turn into a stalker. Point is, right now they don't, and men "doing our usual" isn't going to move the needle. You could also do a step in between. At restaurants this happened a lot and I was never offended and it was only slightly awkward for a moment and a simple I have a boyfriend always worked as a no whether I had one or not. ?. Above all else, be respectful, kind and courteous no matter what their response is. These guys write Odes of Undying Love and Devotion to the people who make their coffee every morning, and generally feel like its reciprocated because they smile at me every time I come in. Hes at work. She might even get her manager to deny you access to the store. I worked for years in retail when I was younger and fended off unwanted requests for dates successfully and without any kind of emotional scarring.). I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. I suggest you consider That's not inappropriate at all and could happen in a nice way without putting her in an uncomfortable position. what are the minimum benefits an employer needs to provide? young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me . When asking out a cashier, it is important to always put yourself in their shoes and be respectful of their feelings. Or she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work. This could be almost anything, but here are some examples: This should be something you actually enjoy, so be sure to let your excitement about your hobby be apparent when you mention it. I spent time on holidays (and shopping) in Germany, I am familiar with how retail in Germany, in large cities, works. Is there any acceptable way to ask retail staff for a date? If he say, Oh, rats! Don't go forcing this or setting up though, because again that might just gain you the 'creep' label and might seem like you're stalking her however you do handle that encounter. What cinched it for me was my dad who was there with me. Additionally, it can be helpful to practice what you want to say beforehand. She thought they got along OK and that he seemed interested, but he never asked her out. I do know that she had been coming in once or twice a week for months before anyone made a move, and I know they had been chatting a lot more than your average employee and customer would chat (to the point that I wonder how he wasnt reprimanded for not doing his work). But fr what a lot of people are saying here, has the world just gotten that much more creepy? I date women. Thats why the OP should say it cheerfully, quietly, quickly, hand the card over and exit. One day, I put the money in her hand, and tickled her palm. A response that is far more common than a many guys seem to think. If the cashier does not feel the same way, it is best to respect their wishes and move on. Please think very carefully about about out a retail employee. He was driving through the parking lot at work, waiting by my car, leaving things at the customer service counter for me like cards, flowers, etc.. it was extremely uncomfortable not just for me but for my coworkers who were forced to be nice to this creep.. and yes, hes certainly a creep. then nope. This will not get you a natural reaction and is prone to outside interaction from her co-workers and such. But if she's more sensitive, even this will upset her, freak her out and make her uncomfortable every time she has to help you again. I guess the sexy librarian thing does not help in that respect either :(((. I went to the same drive-thru for YEARS and had a crush on the guy who worked there. The pressure to respond positively to those interactions to avoid A Scene is so high! It is not out of the realm of possibility that someone might make a complaint, factual or otherwise, about a retail worker who turned him/her down. My main concern was that I didnt want to put this person in an uncomfortable position or jeopardize his job, and what youve recommended sounds like it would work so thanks very much for the advice :), Oops, that was supposed to be a response to and we danced from the ocean. Can I add you on Facebook and send you the link? So she added him, they talked until 4 a.m. on Facebook messenger, and they went out a few days later. If the girl laughs, half the work is done. We go on vacation together, we spend holidays and new years together and so on. I can find out though and that might make things a little less fraught, dynamics-wise, if he is. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is com If she does, give her your number and leave, if she doesn't just leave and act like nothing happened, you don' want her to look at you like a creep or something. So, to answer your question if you know that people are male, then refer to them as male: Gentlemen, Sirs, Guys, or whatever suits the occasion best. It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. She could say yes, no, or not respond to the question. WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? Also regarding not having much time because there's a lineup. Responding to that with flip remarks about how will the species survive or how its always been this way or how people who object really need to deal, frankly, comes across as wildly and deliberately obtuse which, again, is very out of character for you. I definitely agree with all of the suggestions about keeping casual and low-key and, if he turns you down, continuing to interact with him as though nothing happened. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. No real point to this expect to share that I have now been enlightened :). would be totally normal and appropriate. I love that show, I wish they would bring it back. It was my first job ever, I worked part time for a store that primarily sold video games and video game accessories. Here, you're just leaving a breadcrumb trail. So sorry to say, for me at least, the perceived romantic connections were not real. One thing. Or include a 'Text me/Call me' in the note, and don't say anything at all (this might be more innocuous and have the same effect, since all the flirting up till now has been unspoken, you might want to carry that on). Try it if you meet somewhere else. I've asked her out but she says shes not ready. You have some power (even implied power) over a cashier with your ability to complain and get them reprimanded, or even because she'll be forced to be nice to you during her shifts even after rejecting you should it come to that. If she can't fit dating into her schedule or budget, if family or social or work issues prevent her (can she date customers?) So now that Ive rambled, I just hope the OP really considers this persons demeanor before putting him in a potentially awkward situation. My rule is simple. Theres nothing wrong with letting someone know youre interested as long as it is no-pressure, you dont treat them differently afterward, and you are OK with being shot down. Id rather meet people doing things Im interested in or through other friends. Hello, OP here. You never know! Greet Customers Arriving in a Store My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night, we're so excited.". They have been married for almost ten years and have three year old twins. O_o Yeah, no. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no time. Asking a cashier out is not always an easy prospect. Theres also no way to guarantee itll go smoothly (he could say no, or you could go out and it could be disastrous), so if thats going to keep you from shopping there, youve got to decide which you want more: the possibility of a date with him or the certainty that you can continue comfortably going to that store. Studies show that men are not actually able, on average, to pick up on disinterest, if theyre interested in the person. It pays And the corn guy had his own business. My advice would be to tentatively engage in a light cashier-related conversation, even if it's just a "Hello again" and a pleasant smile. I got hit on constantly at this job and hated it, but this guy was different and I always looked forward to seeing him. A simple compliment or two can go a long way in making a good impression on someone; let them know what drew you towards them in the first place! I did get hit on a lot way back then but it was always little boys who wanted me to come over and play and have milk and cookies later because their mom just made the best, etc. Just let them do their jobs. This is impolite and quite creepy. Much better, now we've avoided putting her on the spot, we've just slipped her a little bit of intelligence, with no request whatsoever for her to act. It only takes a minute to sign up. No outside videos or links - mods dont have to verify if it follows the rules. Its how our brains are wired up. Are there any canonical examples of the Prime Directive being broken that aren't shown on screen? Sorry to hear that it didnt work out (a haunted house would have been a very cool first date!) Except this is not a conversation about whether its ever OK for a man to approach a woman confidently and in a not-creepy or inappropriate way*; its a conversation about a specific situation, namely making romantic overtures to somebody whose job and paycheck require them to be pleasant to you. Then, awkwardness. Most? And if he doesnt call you actually have to forget the incident ever happened, for real no joke you actually have to. He didnt have any way of knowing that his asking me out was going to be such an issue for me, but it still made work awkward and scary for a while, and I did my best to avoid him from then on. But what if you realllly like this person? listen to him, and definitely good to go for a free mean with a guy that's not a creeper!! It also means that you have to go out of your way to make them comfortable if they do say no (no signs of resentment or bitterness or other weirdness), because after all youdid take therisk of asking someone out in their place of work. See thats how it should be and how it generally happens in my world, but Im getting the impression that these days theres a lot more creepy people out there and like I said earlier thats just sad that our world has gotten to the point where people assume the worse first and not the other way around. The amount was wrong. Ive seen a lot of this sentiment in this thread (Im biased; Im female) and I just want to say: A lot of women dont find being hit on or asked out by a strange man flattering, especially if the most conversation theyve had with them is either mundane chitchat or about the customers order/purchase. In all seriousness, young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me, and it can be exhausting and, yes, scary, since a significant fraction of men dont take a polite no thanks well. Youre the second person to mention Facebook. I worked a lot of retail jobs during middle school, high school, and college, and its unbelievable how many people misinterpret someone being polite and friendly as flirting. So, for me, Id play it extra-super-cautious and wait for the big neon sign and the person to ask me. And there was no pressing and he never followed up when I didnt call. In the last few years, Ive had men ask me out, and although flattering, theyre usually significantly older than me (40s and 50s even) and it puts me in a very awkward position of turning them down. Hitting on generally is either straight-up propositioning or coming in sideways. Maybe thats what our OP should do. To me, it'd come across as a creepy behaviour. Since you're not asking if you should or not but HOW you should ask her then I'd suggest you to try to ask her something like "Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to have a coffee/drink with me sometimes ?". Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. And you might realise hey, I only want this person as a friend. It was very intentional for me to talk to you about games. Learning how to read the defense, Al Haitham Genshin is 8 years old. Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at Its really helping me to figure out what to do (and Ive been debating this with myself for awhile now) and Im really grateful that so many people chose to respond. Late in the thread but dont do it while they are working their CS role. I've talked to a cashier girl at the grocery store a few times and she has been somewhat flirty a couple times. What the worst that could happen from politely and not creepily seeing what happens next from this real world connection? The worst that could happen to whom? I used to wait tables when I was young, and a lot of times guys (and horribly old men, too!) This happens to us (generally speaking; there are certainly exceptions) *so often* that it can feel predatory at our jobs, even if it really isnt. Don't make it awkward. Only he didnt stop asking me out. Thats the point for the worker, its a business interaction. I suggest you consider the following: Is she especially nice to you, or is that her normal behavior with many customers? Let me apologize in advance for all the guys out there who do this. (gives performance flyer). Thank goodness none of them ever tried anything like this, you poor thing! Each party is still evaluating the other.). But the guys who were polite and made a no pressure suggestion to grab coffee or see a movie sometime or whatever, were not doing anything wrong. I dont feel very comfortable or happy rejecting people. Example: Did you hear, So-and-so is going to be performing at the (venue) on Thursday? He got aggressive with her when he found out I wasnt there, demanding to know where I was and when Id be back. For more information, please see our The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a message. - This subreddit is **gender neutral**. If you decide to ignore this advice and try to ask them out, you need to understand that it's highly likely that they aren't into you. I came here to drink milk and kick ass. Can you help me?" Its like, Im working. Or cheese fries because my friend bailed. Please have some respect and let me have my JOB as a safe space! I'm from the midwest and women in service definitely say those words, but it is more commonly heard from older women to younger men I'm gonna go touch some grass, you should too S SargeMaximus And then poof you have a friend, and can still visit the business. Then why the hell were you flirting with me non-stop for days? Im a public librarian, married to a patron. Does the order of validations and MAC with clear text matter? Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! I really dont understand the snark here, much less the do as I please nobody was threatening you with a restraining order. Cashier job description sample with Responsibilities and Duties Try a man cashier. I agree that the group thing could be a good, low-pressure way to go. And it was always a minefield to navigate. I have no idea if men in customer service experience this as well, but I know the men that I worked with almost never dealt with unwanted sexual attention from customers. If theyre creepy, weird, or not someone Id be interested in getting to know better, theres an easy out. *Actually, I was a lifeguard in another life. Meaning; talking to her each time you go shopping, exchanging some humor and eventually get to know her name. I know I can just walk up to her and be like "you're cute, wanna go out?" Your a cashier right? Another way might be something along the lines of: Its always nice to chat with you [name.] They are paid to be nice and helpful and to show up where youre shopping if they think you might need help. Make yourself stupid by doing something (without lowering your integrity). As it happens, safe is the first one. You can try going to the supermarket at different times, e.g. I hope this helps. I like some of the advice above with the whole, Im thinking of doing this, maybe you should come join if youre free, and bonus if its with a group. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. This is also a longshot. Well whats some do's and dont's. Hes always nice and professional, but makes sure that his suitor knows that he has a serious girlfriend. Mention some public event coming up in the upcoming week that you are planning to attend, such as a concert, puppet show, debate, whatever. The problem? We go out in public with strangers all the time after all. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. Plenty of wise advice already. If the cashier is interested in going out, its best to take things slow and get to know each other better before making any big decisions. And if she did come back at a later time and ask you for coffee, it would be a very great surprise. For a male, the odds are stacked against you. Like I said, Id be flattered, even if I was interested and it wouldnt be weird for me to see you again in the future. To help us answer, can you edit to give some more detail on the "signs she gave you" which seem promising? "I don't know and I don't care" or if she answers something like: "I love those cookies, I wish someone would invite me to eat them.". Answers always gonna be no if you dont ask. Only guy Ive ever asked out! if you go and she's not there, why not ask someone she works with if the girl is single.. do you know her name?? I mean, she's a cute cashier, she probably gets hit on on the regular. ), then drop it, and to me, its no big deal. Though after doing some work in an environment where the employees were supposed to be *extremely* friendly I realized you have to adjust your signals to the environment or it gets real awkward. Meeting someone at a party (or going to a movie, while were on the topic) are not especially good first dates when youre attempting to get to know someone better. In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. tru dat mirth!!.. I think they key with both couples is that there were adults and past the minimum wage jobs.
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